Our abbreviations so far:

LT = Lady Tanya
aka :superpower-pnut:
Member of the Apple Corps.

CW = Cattleworks aka uh, Me!

AC = The Apple Corps.
An informal group of artists who try to meet weekly in Western New York (WNY) to work on:
1: Their drawing skills.
2. Personal art projects.
3. Ultimate goal, to produce and self-publish a joint comic book of their work.
Currently, membership consists only of LT and Cattleworks (uh, still me!), and is a splinter group of the CBC — actually, not so much a rebel force but actually remaining “survivors” for various reasons.
NOTE: Correct pronunciation is the “Apple (CORE)”, which is actually the correct pronunciation of the word “corps,” anyway, not (CORPSE), which some may think. I bring this up because the name was intended partially as a pun, since LT and I were also remaining members ("core," get it?) of a larger group, the CBC.

CBC = The Comic Book Club
aka The Crabapple Club, the Crabapples, the Crabapplers
An informal group of artists who used to work together at GAG: Dan, Josh, Will, Lady Tanya and Cattleworks. Since its inception, they attempted to meet weekly to discuss and work on their goal of self-publishing a joint comic book together, with a minimum goal of 10 pages per story.
Dan (artist) and Josh (writer) were co-creating a story together.
Will, LT and CW were each writing and drawing their own stories.
Eventually, circumstances kept affecting the consistency of the whole group meeting together, including some transportation issues and some life issues (for instance, Will moved away, Dan started a T-shirt business from home and things got too busy for him, and several times CW had some conflicts schedule-wise, so he (er, I... dammit!) was just a no-show, etc.).
Eventually, we met less and less, and eventually, it just evolved that LT and CW started meeting a couple times together when the others couldn’t, and then that became the norm, and finally, the CBC just fell to the wayside and the AC was formally running on its own.
But, this was was mostly an evolution due circumstantial developments rather than a personality/idea clash or break-up.
Note: Since the CBC’s inception, only two members still work at GAG as of this writing (uh, I’m pretty sure…: Dan and Josh. Also, Josh got married and Dan just announced his engagement.

GAG = Great Arrow Graphics
A hand silkscreened greeting card company in WNY, where all the original members of the CBC worked and met. Some would say the unintentional acronym of “GAG” is appropriate.

ADAD = A Drawing a Day
My attempt to improve my drawing skills by doing, well, a drawing a day.

------------------------------------

The Apple Corps! ISSUE 0: “A New Beginning or the Same Old Same Old?”

Last night, LT and I had our weekly AC meeting at Wegman’s café.
As usual I was dog tired by the end of the meeting. Part of it is because I start work earlier at 7:00am, so without a nap or anything in between work and the meeting, the day usually catches up with me.
But the last couple days I’ve been particularly juvenile in my approach to my sleeping schedule.
Monday and Tuesday night, I was up ridiculously late, supposedly “doing stuff” on the net, but really, I was mostly staying up late, and man, I was in crappy shape Tuesday, but I was REALLY hurting by last night.
So, my apologies to LT for being less than animated, or even conscious, last night towards the end of the meeting.

I was working on this drawing I started last week, that I originally hoped to finish in a day (in fact it was supposed to be ADAD No. 2, but of course, it’s just dragging on and on like everything else I start.
Well, I tried to rectify some things when I came home last night, by pretty much trying to go to bed immediately.
I went to bed before midnight (much better than 4 in the morning, that’s for damn sure).
I had to wake up to switch cars in the driveway at 6:45am when my wife was leaving for work, but I have the night shift tonight, so after I did the car switchy thingy, I went back to sleep. This is also unusual, because usually for some reason or another, I get up when my wife goes to work anyway, but even when I need more sleep, I have a bad habit of going on the net and staying up. So, I’m just a juvenile jerk all-day-round.
But this time, I actually went back to sleep again. Go responsible me!
I finally got up around 10:30, 10:45am.

My one cat, Kody, was sleeping with me.
As I lay there, wondering if I was actually getting up, I picked up an old issue of The Savage Dragon lying on the table beside me. I recently picked up three more back issues in my recent goal to pick up the whole SD collection: issues 24, 25 and 82.
I happened to be reading issue 25 this morning ( a“Double Issue!” which actually looked like two issues inside, not just one big issue. The second issue was written by Erik Larsen, but Keith Giffen gets "plotter/storyteller" credits and Jeff Matsuda did pencils and Terry Austin did inks. Matsuda and Austin also did the cover.
I’m curious if the original intention by Larsen was to print this particular issue as one double issue or he originally was going to have (what would have been) #26 just be done by Matsuda and Austin.
I’m wondering this because as I read these old issues, when I go to the letters pages in back, I get a sense that deadlines were still an issue, that sometimes the books still came out late. So, I wonder if Larsen tried to appease his fans by saying, okay, this book was late, but look, it’s a double issue, so at least it’s well worth the wait!
There have been a few larger issues during the run that I’ve seen in my haphazard acquisition of SD back issues, and I always thought that Larsen was always conscious of trying to keep the fans happy with either production consistency (getting the books out on time) or if circumstances undermined those plans, trying to compensate with a little something extra.
Plus, the fact that the second “issue” in this Issue #25 is not drawn by Larsen, I’m wondering if he felt that some fans may be turned off by that. So, he came up with this compromise/game plan. Because sometimes, I know one of the things that comics publishers do is print a book with one cover artist and then have a different art team inside. Sometimes it feels like a bait and switch.
But, I don’t think that was the case here. Especially since the cover is by Matsuda and Austin, as well. So, I think it may have been just a “cool idea” by Larsen to work with some other fellow cartoonists, but the double issue deal was a secondary development.

Oh, hey.
It just occurred to me: maybe he actually talks about this in the letters pages.
I’ll have to check out the issue more thoroughly and I’ll get back to you later if I find any new pertinent information.

Jeez, that was a rambling detour from the Apple Corps update, sorry.
Although, actually (and eventually), it does sort of get back to the subject intentionally.

LT was still doing inking exercises, working off some scans she did of penciled pages by Steve (Nexus, The Moth) Rude from Gary Martin’s book on inking that I lent her a few weeks ago.
She then started inking a fan art version of Yugioh (sp?) she did, which was pretty neat, actually, and not in the style she usually draws (part of that because the subject wasn’t the usual thing I see her draw, like chibis, etc.).
But her inking of her own drawing looked pretty good, too.
So, I think all this inking she’s been doing has been doing some good, simply by constant practice.
Since neither of us know what we’re doing here, regarding inking, “our” philosophy towards our attempts at applied inking techniques seems to be making it up as we go along. I say “our" in quotes because, really, LT has been the only one doing any real steady inking exercises, while I was just offering lame and ineffectual feedback to her efforts.
But, her questions pointed out how little I really know about the subject myself. I personally ink the way I ink because that’s the way I ink, not based on any instruction, so that really only takes me as far as my own instincts and very limited experience can go, which really ain’t much to sneeze at.

Meanwhile, I’m focused on just trying to draw more.
And that idea is, simply an idea, so far, it seems.
Part of that is circumstantial, but really, simply, I just don’t draw as much as I say I’m going to. And when I do, I really plod along because sometimes I don’t know what I’m doing.
One of my weaknesses (and areas I need to address) is not quickly roughing out a pose.
I've known this for a while, and its been pointed out to me in the early meetings of the CBC. I agree, but I just don't seem to agree enough to deliberately attempt to improve that situation.
As I worked on ADAD No. 2 ([link]), I thought I was improving the figure of Jheena, but then I really hated the pose/composition. Which is pretty much the foundation to a drawing, isn’t it?
So, I was wrassling with both of those issues last night.
I thought I was making anatomical and (slight) “character design” progress, but it was just very slow, and then, the whole pose seemed lame ([link]).

So, really, I HAVE to make a point of composing my figures/drawings roughly at first before investing more time into filling in and working on finishing the drawing.
Practice, practice, practice.

Also, since my compositions are coming slowly, I may alternate my “original” drawings with inking "practice drawings." LT gave me a couple extra scans of the Rude pencils she’s been working on in order to give me an opportunity at inking something.
Also, considering my recent fascination with SD, I might just redraw some panels of an old issue and ink that as an exercise, and also, to get this superhero genre out of my system.
Every time I read SD, I think I should do some superhero story, but, really, my ideas, although genre related (like exploitation, horror, lucha libre, sci-fi, etc.) don’t really involve the basic American comic superhero.
I’m just FREAKIN’ IMPRESSIONABLE.

Alright, that’s kind of where my brain is at.
Trying to follow through on my ADAD gameplan and now, supplementing it with some inking practice.
Let’s see what happens.

Oh, by the way, why the whole “Issue 0” deal?
Well, I figured the Apple Corps’ exploits earned their own “book”. But, starting with “Issue 1” seemed weird, since I’ve been discussing the club for a while already, so it seemed "misleading", like, I was saying I was STARTING here. So, starting with Issue 0 seemed like it implied a certain arbitrariness to my start. But, that’s probably just me. Anyways, next week’s (most likely) “issue”, will be No. 1, for those who clamor for such things.
But I thought I should differentiate between AC's exploits and my own , although, really, I guess they all are mixed in one larger, overlapping "Cattleworks Universe."

Heh... Cattleworks Universe.

DAMN YOU IMAGE COMICS! (Although, really, they weren’t the first, were they…

PS.
Okay, I just read a little bit more of the letters page in SD #25 and it looks like they intended the double issue all along.
Also, there is an Erik Larsen alternative cover, which is included as an interior back cover.
They shipped them out split with both covers and the alternative covers on the interior back, so no one HAD to buy both copies of the issue to get each cover.
So, cool move by Erik Larsen to do that.
This issue is actually the second in a 3-issue story arc called "Gang War". The second story in issue 25 ties in but also seems like a humorous detour as Dragon and Superpatriot fight a splinter gang of bad guys calling themselves the Body Functions. With the villains' monikers being: Cesspool, Nasal Ned, Backfire, and Belcher, you have an idea what their "super" powers might be.

Yeah.
And eww...

So, Larsen calls this issue "part 2 and a half" in his story arc, and the double issue is a nod to fans saying he should do something special for his 25th issue.
So there.

And maybe I should read a whole comic book BEFORE yakking on and on about it.

Hmmm.

Nyah.

Yeah, yeah... ADAD-- A Drawing a Day, my ass!
Here it is, 1:51am and I haven't drawn crap!
Grrrrr!

Although, I was checking out some proportions with that photo/model reference book I bought recently (oh, I might as well give you the name of it, the heck: ART MODELS 2 - Life Nude Photos for the Visual Arts). And boy, depending on the body type, there's some pretty wide descrepancies.
Interesting.

Anyway, so I started doing that, which was constructive, but then I got distracted, and before you know it, I'm on the internet checking something out and now, it's two hours later!

Loser!!

So from now on, it's AD"AD"... well, implied truth in advertising...

Nuts.
Let's see if I can salvage anything from this evening...
At the very least, maybe I'll have some leftover Chinese food...

Recently I’ve been checking out the account of Deviant Artist MDetector5. I was introduced to his account via the work of DA ~arq341 ([link]), who graciously favorited one of the few pieces in my DA gallery.
Anyway, recently MDetector5 ([link]) wrote in his journal that yet another DA (BORN-TO-DIE[link]) inspired him with his self-challenge to produce a drawing per day, with the express goal to improve himself as an artist.
You can’t get any more basic than that.

What can I do to draw better? Draw more.
What do I need to become a writer? Write.
What do I need to do to be a filmmaker? Make movies.

These are abrupt and seemingly wise-ass responses to apparently sincere questions, but really, they are simply honest and direct advice.
Sure, there’s a lot of room to elaborate further, but if you’re pursuing any of these creative endeavors seriously, and therefore, with some serious time investment, then that further elaboration will eventually come from both without and within yourself.

Yeah, bla bla bla.
Whatever.

So, anyways, I thought I’d attempt to jump on the shut up and put up wagon and try this A Drawing a Day (or ADAD for short) challenge myself.
Being pessimistic (from personal experience), I know I’m not going to accomplish that at the beginning. Right now, I’m shooting just to get my ass TO THE DRAWING TABLE once a day and do SOMETHING towards finishing a particular drawing.
So, in an effort to embarrass and shame myself into improving more noticeably, I’m going to try and post my daily progress, warts and all.
So, it looks like my scrapbook is going to start growing.

Today, to inaugurate this daily challenge, I’m posting two WIP.
The first one, uncleverly titled, “A Drawing a Day – ADAD No. 1,” ([link])I started a couple months ago and I seem to keep futzing with every now and then. The idea for the drawing was inspired by most of arq341’s fan art drawings of female characters (primarily from cartoons, comics and video games) wrestling against each other. He’s more knowledgeable about wrestling moves than I am, which probably seems weird, since my OC, Jheena the Jungle Fury, is a luchadora. But my general attraction to masked wrestlers is weirdly character-based rather than wrestling-based.
Anyway, this drawing suffers from all sorts of issues of my ignorance and inexperience. I sort of came up with a wrestling hold and really didn’t have a reference for it, until I sought one out AFTER I started drawing. And then discovered that my then WIP suffered all sorts of problems, like what the opponent’s head should actually be doing when someone’s pushing down on the back of their neck with a forearm, etc.
Also, I had all sorts of proportion issues with the anatomy that I’m still sorting out as I plod along. The immediate drawback to not having models to draw from.
Finally, I was sort of creating Jheena’s opponent from scratch, so all sorts of specifics, like her physical appearance and her costume I was making up on the spot, and I was being indecisive and fussy, so lots of grumbling and erasing.
But once I figure out those latter issues, than I can focus on the basic anatomical mechanics of these illustrations. And THEN, I hope to produce a few drawings between Jheena and this character, all in mid-rassle, which should be good practice, perhaps even elaborate it into a sequence of some kind.
Jheena herself is posing problems for me as I try to familiarize myself with her specific features and characteristics. To a lesser but still distinct degree, I’m still hammering out details of who Jheena is and what she looks like.
So, these drawings, a bit of wrestling for myself as a creator, are really character exercises, which is why they’re slow-going.

My second WIP drawing I started last night out of aggravation, another Jheena illustration ([link]), and that, too, posed anatomical questions and second guessing for me. Man, I’m lamer than I realized. Lame!
LAAAAAME!!!!
I recently bought a book of photo references of nude models, male and female, as an attempt to have some sort of fill-in model available to me as a guide.
I want to try and create my own personal yardsticks to memorize (I’ve probably said this already before… well, I STILL need to do it, by God!) so that I can be at a point knowledge-, technique- and experience-wise to be able to just have an idea for a pose and then DO IT-- boom!boom!boom!-- without being stymied by the ridiculous speed-bumps of:
Does this look right?
Is this proportion correct?
Oh, my god, that CAN’T be right!
Should I shoot myself or hang myself?
Etc., etc., etc.

So, we’ll see how this goes, huh?

Oh, P.S.

MDetector5 is currently running a bikini contest ([link]) of dueling OCs, so to speak, and it was one of ~arq341’s entries ([link]) that introduced me to it.
I’m hoping to participate and enter a submission by the September 27 deadline (it was extended from the original August deadline, natch!), but there’s one or two things I have to focus on first.
We’ll see how if things work themselves out or not in time for me to submit something. I hope, so because I have some screwy ideas I’d like to pursue…

Full title:
ISSUE 43: Thinking out loud about stuff... my vacation, my aspirations and the early days of Image comics.

Hope everyone’s having a great and safe Labor Day weekend!

A bunch of stuff’s been going on here-- well, to MY mind, at least. To anybody else, it may seem like nothing new’s happening at all in my life.

First, my wife and I recently came back from two weeks vacation down south. For those interested, we went to: Louisville, KY, for a few days, then Nashville, TN, for a few more days, then finally, Pigeon Forge, TN, for about a week, with one night in Clarksburg, WV, at the mid-point of our two-day road trip back home to Western New York. Oh! For those who WEREN’T interested… um… I guess THAT’S a couple minutes you won’t get back..!
Anyways, in anticipation to some obvious questions:
No, while we were in these cities we did NOT see (respectively speaking):
1. The Louisville Slugger Factory
2. Opryland
3. Dollywood
4. (I don’t even know what Clarksburg, WV is most famous for… it was simply a convenient mid-point travel stop).
But, what we DID see:
1. Churchill Downs (site of the Kentucky Derby) – far more interesting than I expected. A definite highlight of the trip. Also saw the Louisville Zoo. And the Hermitage, Andrew Jackson’s plantation.
2. The Carnton Plantation, located near Franklin, TN. Likewise, the Carter House in Franklin. Featured in a recent novel by Robert Hicks, Widow of the South, Carnton was a fascinating, sobering historical site with a knowledgeable and empathetically guided tour of the interior. The mansion of the McGavock family was appropriated by the Confederate army during the bloody Battle of Franklin (Nov. 30, 1864)([link]) to be used as a field hospital during the fighting. The battle exacted a heavy toll on the rebels, particularly the Tennessee Volunteer Army, and the dead included four generals and over 50 officers during the 5 hour battle. The Carter House still bears the scars of hundreds of bullet holes and at least one cannon ball.
3. Hiked in the Great Smoky Mountain National Park a couple times, including a brief, exciting encounter with a bear.
4. Ate at a Chinese Buffet and then had ice cream! Yes!
Most importantly, though, I was able to check out a comic book store at each of our three main stops. Whee!

Oh, right.
Comic books.
That’s what I was going to “think out loud” about.
I’m so easily distracted.

It seems that every time I go on vacation, and this year was no different, I’m always thinking/planning/dreaming about not having to work at my regular job on the web press anymore and instead, be able to focus my attention on more creative endeavors, namely: comics, film and writing.
Oh. Oh yeah. I want it ALL!
Of course, can I do it all?
Heck! Can I friggin’ do ONE of those disciplines?
Well, that’s the real, pertinent question, ain’t it?

Unfortunately, I’m not independently wealthy and neither is my wife. She does make significantly more money than I do (thank goodness!), but still, I’m primarily responsible for paying our mortgage. So, whatever I do, I have to be able to cover that monthly expense for the next several years.
But, the other unfortunate thing is, all my ideas/aspirations for producing something creatively is all from an independent bent. Like, I’D have to produce it. I’m not really interested in working for Marvel or DC on their characters.
I’D have to self-publish my comics.
I’D have to produce and distribute whatever film(s) I make.
Uh, writing… I don’t envision self-publishing so much. With writing I’d attempt to try and write and then submit it to various publishers to see if they’d be interested in buying my stories. In other words, the old school rejection letter route. And right now, I guess I’m talking short stories, because that’s about my speed ability-wise (rather than a novel, let’s say). And we’re still talking with a lot of writing to be done on my part in order to fashion a story worth reading. Although, I’m definitely eyeing (mega-optimistically) the possibility of a novel of some sort; in fact, I’m considering short stories as a foot in the door (creatively) towards creating a novel.

Meanwhile, I’m also 48.
So, time is sort of an issue here, at least, if I’m expecting to have some sort of actual creative “career.” I need to get my friggin’ dreaming ass in motherfreaking gear.

So, I’m trying to get myself organized, try to set up a practical infrastructure for myself to produce work on a regular basis, and come up with some plan to follow through on these screwy aspirations that I have.

I had been recently thinking of setting the wheels into motion of producing a horror anthology. There were two other artists I wanted to work with and I was envisioning producing/publishing the whole thing myself.
I have some ideas with regard to various aspects of the project: story-wise and promotion-wise.
But as I was debating a workable yet low-budget strategy to accomplish this, it occurred to me that the biggest stumbling block is not lack of talent (art or writing, I have some solid candidates in mind) but the fact that I’m intending to be a part of this endeavor as well.
Me.
The guy who never finishes anything.
Yeah. That’s problematic.

So, my very first step is to try and get MY shit together first.

Therefore, I’ve been trying to come up with a workable game plan to try and achieve this.

I’ve been thinking in terms of “self-schooling” or “self-training.” I originally went to the Art Institute of Pittsburgh WAY long ago, ca. 1979-80 (kee-ripes). I never finished, being the distracted dope I was.
Although NOW I look with envy upon high school students attending college, and that wistfulness originates from two emotional sources. First, the idea of learning something new AND also meeting like-minded peers. Second, the reminder of my (past) youth is very strong and bittersweetly seductive.
But I can’t go back—at least not in time.
However, if I choose to go forward, that opportunity is always there, it just depends on how serious and determined I am.

The “self-taught” concept is also a reflection of me to trying to save money. I can’t really afford enrolling in another college.
But I’ll still figure out ways to spend money, oh, don’t you worry!
There’s equipment I need to get, like software such as Photo Shop or some such similar thing, when I try to learn how to use a computer creatively.
Yeah, I’ve outlined the “target areas” of my self-education as OLD SCHOOL LEARNING, NEW SCHOOL LEARNING, and PRODUCTION.
OLD SCHOOL encompasses gaining more artistic experience and trying to develop skills utilizing more basic art techniques, like drawing, inking, painting, anatomical studies, layout, composition, color theory, etc.
NEW SCHOOL addresses primarily the technology that’s developed since the 80s, and continues to evolve. In other words, pretty much everything that kids coming out of high school today are familiar with, things that are like another, daunting language to me.
PRODUCTION is pretty much attempting to increase my abilities to: 1) actually finish something I start and 2) to do so in a quick, practical way so that the idea of my self-producing a comic book to the extent of my wanting to write, pencil and ink is not the most delusional thing anyone’s ever heard.

Interestingly, one of the numerous purchases I made at the aforementioned southern comic stores was a book on the formation of the Image comic book company. It's called Image Comics: The road to independence ([link]), and it's written by George Khoury. I had heard about this thing through the pages of a recent Savage Dragon comic (an Image product, natch!) and I thought that would be fascinating reading.
Although I’ve been a comic book reader and collector over several years of my life, starting back, (way back) in the 60s, my interests jumped around (beginning with Marvel comics, then including and focusing on: Warren horror comics; Heavy Metal sci-fi adult fantasy; Love and Rockets, Yummy Fur and independent comics; Alan Moore’s Swamp Thing run and some of the interesting titles from DC’s Vertigo line). The huge superhero boom of the early 90s was something that didn’t interest me. So when I found out about all this, the whole band of superstar artists jumping ship from Marvel at the height of their popularity and forming a brand new comic book company named Image was something I discovered several years after the fact.
The original comic book club I was in (uh, the Crabapple Club), that I occasionally speak about here (which spawned the current splinter group of the Apple Corps with sole members superpower-pnut (aka Lady Tanya) and myself) had as part of its membership three fanboys well familiar with that now long-gone era. Original Crabapplers Josh, Dan and Will knew of these hotshot upstart creators who bucked the work-for-hire system of Marvel (and the rest of the industry at that time). In particular, Dan and Will were huge fans Marvel (and Will was a HUGE fan of Rob Liefeld, and as far as I know, still is). So, I’d hear stories and was intrigued by all this missing current history in a pop subject I thought I was familiar with.
And so, I was very excited to hear about this book on the history of Image.
I’ve been reading the various interviews with the original seven founders and their Image characters: Todd (Spawn) MacFarlane, Erik (Savage Dragon) Larsen, Jim (WildCATS) Lee, Marc (Cyber Force) Silvestri, Rob (Youngblood) Liefeld, Jim (ShadowHawk) Valentino and artist Whilce Portacio.
Also mind-boggling to me were the sales numbers they were throwing around, how different the comics industry was back then.
When they were still at Marvel, MacFarlane, Liefeld, and Lee were responsible for the art for record breaking number one issues that sold in the millions of copies.
MILLIONS. OF. COPIES.
I think Lee’s book set the last record, selling 5,000,000 books.
Today, I think the top selling comic book title sells about 250,000 copies and the very next title, the second best selling title, sells like half that amount.
Man, talk about a totally different cultural landscape!

So, as history I find this fascinating and the few excerpts I’ve been reading is just tremendously interesting as character studies of the various founders and also a vicarious consideration of what to learn from their whole experience, and also the consequent meltdown in the industry as speculation sunk its cold teeth into the business (among other issues).
But it’s thought-provoking to hear how artists (the superstars) were convinced they could do it all (in terms of producing and selling a successful comic book) and the hard realities of actually trying to do it.
There are other stories of other, smaller comic book companies that are touched on, too, like Valiant and Caliber, names I had read on the covers of some book (usually in the back issue boxes) but had no knowledge of where they fit in terms of creative and historical context.

Coincidentally, and perhaps fittingly, I’ve been slowly acquiring more issues of Savage Dragon in the last year or so. Most recently, I’ve been picking up the first issues of the series and reading them in order. I think I’ve been particularly attracted to the book simply because I’m finding Erik Larsen, as comic book creator, to be an interesting character. Savage Dragon, the actual book, is not exactly my cup of tea. In fact, jumping onto the bandwagon now at issue 135 is a real challenge for new audiences because there’s a bewilderingly dense cast and history of convoluted plots and developments in its long run (including dark twins and alternative universes), that it’s almost off-putting. But oddly, I find this strangely compelling. So, I finally decided to see how the hell this whole thing came to be where it is today by starting at its beginning. So far, I have the first 13 issues plus the three issues of the original mini-series that preceded it, I believe.
And reading these old issues PLUS the Image book as it talks about the period when these issues first came into existence is a fun, informative and potentially instructive exercise. But, mostly, it’s wild, weird and cool!

But, anyway…
Thinking about all this has been re-igniting a fire under my butt to proceed in earnest towards achieving my cartooning aspirations.
I figure I need to invest five solid years of learning, drawing and acquiring experience in comics creation and self-publishing etc., before I’m in any position to leave my job.
Ugh. Five more years?
Hell, maybe it’ll even take… LONGER.

KEE-RAP.

Well, the sooner I start, the better, huh?

Anyways, that’s what I’ve been thinking about.
And, sorry, you’ll never get the time back you spent reading this WHOLE thing, either.
(But I appreciate that you DID take the time! Thanks!)

Later!
And good luck and a “keep on trucking” to anyone who has similar aspirations themselves!

(Originally written July 7, 2008)

There are all sorts of ideas in my head, but it seems like it always takes me forever to try to follow through on any of them.
This weekend I attended my thirty year high school reunion and it is yet another event that triggers my anxiety about not fulfilling any of my artistic ambitions before I croak.
Isn’t that awesome?

If I can just plod along, live the whole “baby steps, baby steps,” (a la the movie, WHAT ABOUT BOB?) and “one day at a time” mantras, hopefully I can accumulate enough finished material that seeing that imagined, accumulated portfolio in the future will allow me to convince and reassure myself to relax a bit, that I can be less impatient and restless.
I WANT to sit down and just work on ONE thing. What frustrates me is that I know whatever time I have to myself is never enough to finish what I’m working on, I’ll only get a piece of it finished: I’ll never finish it in that one sitting.
And that drives me CRAZY! Because of my general lack of discipline, I’m always too impatient and restless for that “nonsense.”
So, instead, time and time again, I impulsively (and compulsively) try to start some impossibly elusive (and, therefore, non-existent project), that I CAN finish at one sitting (translation: initiate something ELSE that I can’t and don’t complete); or more than likely, pace about and try to choose which project I HAVE started working on already that I want to commit to in the immediate future, the lucky project on which to focus my restless energies, a process that will take several days of "stolen moments" in order to follow through on it until that project is finally completed.
But I never seem to decide.
So, I do nothing.

And, most importantly, another opportunity to take a tangible and concrete, though “small”, baby step of forward progress slips away.
And from the day we’re born, we only have so many days available to us…

I’m convinced the Devil exists and is “somewhere,” watching me, or at least aware of me and my mental state, and he is KILLING himself laughing.

PS: eventually, I sat myself down and worked on a drawing in my sketchbook, so I got through and "survived" that night. So, there turned out to be a positive outcome to that day's anxiety, so yay me!
Although, SINCE then, I haven't returned to that drawing (which still remains unfinished)... so, nuts!
I'll try to post a scrap of the thing this week.